The first ever (and only) song I have ever written. As with most classics, this came from a place of great pain.
(To the tune of Jingle Bells)
Car-a-vans. Car-a-vans
A holiday that’s cheap
Where everybody drinks and smokes
And nobody can sleep
Hey
Car-a-vans. Car-a-vans
Where everything is tiny
I much prefer a holiday
Where I’m not so whingy-whiny
Setting up the van
In the never ending rain
Why didn’t I remember
That this was such a pain
Communal toilet blocks
Laundry, kitchen too
Where you can live on top of your neighbour
And they live on top of you.
Oh
Car-a-vans. Car-a-vans
Life in a red camp chair
Playing board games and eating cheese
Champagne in plasticware
Hey
Car-a-vans. Car-a-vans
The mossies won’t be missed
I’ve drunk so much, the ones that bite me
All end up very pissed
Dashing to the toilet
Over stoney, sandy paths
5 loos for 50 people
You can do the maths
Packing up the van
Stressful but of course
I only hope this doesn’t end
With papers for divorce
Oh
Car-a-vans. Car-a-vans
Its like living in a box
My hair’s undone, my make up’s off And I’m wearing thongs with socks
Hey
Car-a-vans. Car-a-vans
Everyone should try it
Then you will appreciate
Your next stay at the Hyatt.
Almond Latte 